Trouble on Myspace: DJ Scratch vs. Scratchator

So I’m a big fan of Myspace. I’ve added Rakim, The Rocker Marty Janetty and numerous other legends to my profile within the first week. Each time I add someone I usually leave a quick comment telling the person I really respect their work or whatnot. They usually never reply if they’re bignamed artists, but all of a sudden I got an email answer back – from none other than the legendary DJ Scratch from EPMD!

Oh joy, I thought, but come to show it’s not a pretty e-mail. See I had sent him a comment calling him Scratchator, thinking that was his new name while performing for Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes is fund of dinosaurs so it’d make sense with the namechange (remember the line “I always roam thru the forest / like a brontosaurus” from Abandon Ship). How ever this was not the case. See, this was the DJ Scratch that had produced for EPMD, PMD, FLIPMODE and a host of others. The one who had brung it back, when Erick Sermon asked “Yo Paul, bring it back” and the one who won numerous DJ contests, sometimes while scratching with his penis. However, DJ Scratchator he was not. In fact he thought that DJ Scratchator was a bit of a poser, as you can see by our following e-mail conversation:

In any case I wish DJ Scratch good luck in his career, and as it says on his website: there are many DJ’s named Scratch – but only one is legendary. See you next update, I’m off to offend more people on Myspace!

The Rev and The Hulkster talk 2. season

At first I couldn’t believe it. But it was actually happening before my very eyes. I’m at the press-conference for the dual launch of the second seasons of Run’s House and Hogan Knows Best. Most people thought reality TV would play out after Puck got kicked of The Real World; who the hell would wanna be see another spin on The Osbournes? How could you possibly find someone to rival Ozzy when it came to legend status, rehabilitated drugabuse, and general craziness? Turns out the 80’s icons Hulk Hogan and Run of Run-DMC were right around the corner. We – I mean me – here at the hiphop, the simpsons and wrestling blog was lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with the two gentlemen, as they announced the sophomore seasons of their shows. What follows here is a word by word transcript:

It’s great to see you gentlemen, how are you today?

Hulk Hogan: Well let me tell you something mean Pete, it’s a great feeling for me, to get the
chance to have all the little Hulkamaniacs out there enjoy another season of the Hulkster doing what he does best: Walk around in my underwear while overprotecting my teenage daughter, brother!

Swell, and how about you Reverend Run, are you also excited?

Reverend Run:
Good morning. Have you ever concidered that there is no better leader than example. When I show the world my family I am holding up a mirror of every family in the world, from Hollis to Hollywood. God is love.

Could we have a little back history on what made you two icons?

Hulk Hogan: When I held Andre The Giant over my head and bodyslammed him at Wrestlemania III infront of 93000+ people. The weight of his 700 lbs body made the ring collapse and he died a few months after.

Really? I thought the official attendence at Wrestlemania III was around 78.000. And you didn’t lift him over your head, you had him at shoulder height. And wasn’t he around 520 lbs? And hey wait, didn’t he die in 1993, six years after Wrestlemania?

Hulk Hogan: Let me tell you brother, when I had Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I slammed him through the Trump Plaza, brother! From New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line brokek off! And as Andre the Giant fell into the ocean! As my next two opponents fell to the ocean floor and I pinned ‘em, so did Donald trump and all the Hulkamaniacs! But as Donald Trump hung on to the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family under his other arm, as they Sank, to the bottom of the sea. Thank god Donald Trump’s a Hulkamaniac! He knew enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hung on to the wife and kids, dog paddled with his life all the way to safety! But something happened, Donald ran out of gas, and all those little Hulkamaniacs, they just hung on to the largest back in the world, and I dog paddled us, backstroked all of us to safety!

Cool, I don’t think we’ll get much further with this. How about you Run, what are your credidentials?

Reverend Run: Here’s a little story ’bout a boy named Joey, king of the world got a very long story. Made alotta money, lived a life of glory. Did what he done but he end up sorry.

Oh that’s too bad, what made you end up sorry?

Reverend Run: Joe was a leader way before his time, made by the people and he kicked much rhyme, had a two-seater and he rode past signs, smoked alotta cheeba and he drank much wine.

That’s terrible then what happened?

Reverend Run:
One day Joey had to stop his scheme, got a revalation and came back clean, got a second chance to fulfill his dream, now Joey is a reverend and he’s been redeemed!

Oh wow. So speaking of being redeemed, was there any moment in the past season that you’re somewhat embarrased by?

Hulk Hogan: Let me tell you, brother. The fact that after being the world champion eleven the only wrestler that wants to hang out with me is Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs. And I have a feeling he’s only around to drink the Hulkster’s beer, brother.

Reverend Run: You think that’s bad. How about spending your time finding the hypest rap crew, with the flyest name, Union Turnpike, then introduce them to your media-mogul brother, and he discovers that they’re totally talentless and thinks you’re a bit insane on top of that? U be illin’ Hogan, u really be illin’.

Hulk Hogan: Dookie!?

Has the series done anything for your other family members?

Hulk Hogan: Let me tell you, brother. The Hulkster’s daughter is just about ready to be the next Britney Spears, except her chest is real. As real as my 6’8 frame, brother.

Reverend Run: I would say my whole family has gained alot, as they have seen their father lead by example as I put them all to a competitive battle for a hunnid nallas.

Hunnid nallas?

Reverend Run: Hunnid nallas!

Do you mean a hundred dollars?

Reverend Run: Yes. God is love.

Right. What can we expect of the next season from your shows?

Hulk Hogan: Expect the Hulkster to return to the ring and have five star matches where I outwrestle Chris Benoit, brother. All the little Hulkamaniacs will cheer as I flex my 24 inch pythons for one final time brother!

And you Reverend Run?

Reverend Run: I won’t stop rocking til I retire!

I though you had in fact retired?

Reverend Run: Then I’ll stop rocking. God is love.

I noticed the two of you are wearing the same gold watch, much like Eddie Murphy and Johnny Gill have on the same male-bracelet as they go out, any specific reason for that?

Hulk Hogan: Hey, just because wrestling is homoerotic doesn’t mean the Hulkster takes a walk on the wild side, brother. That one time with Pat Patterson was just to get my career started.

All right, all right, to end on a positive note, got a message to the fans out there?

Hulk Hogan: Train, say your prayers and don’t continue wrestling with a false knee and hip.
Reverend Run: False hip? How ’bout a game of hoop Hulk? I’ll play you for a hunnid nallas!

Run’s House and Hogan Knows Best can be seen on MTV Nordic here in Scandinavia. The second seasons of the shows should be airing this summer. Make sure to check Run’s website to listen to his new music, and read his daily words of wisdom. RIP JMJ and Andre The Giant.

Shoutout to all y’all motherbloggers + myspace-profile!



Well well, they said it was a pipe-dream. Noone wanted to hear about neither hiphop, the simpsons nor wrestling. Yet here we are, around 30 (thirty!) tune into the blog each and every day to see what’s going on. This is the moment, where I take time out to thank all the people, that are sending readers my way by having me on their blog, website or whatever else media that generates links:

Frednukes: my talented friend who is as passionate about tv-watching as myself. Once we contemplated making a duo called Cable Guys, cause we like tv + we’re as annoying as Jim Carey in that movie.

Kimblim: Caretaker and general manager of hiphop.dk. Known to his friends and enemies as Kim-internet, and constantly gets stalked by cleaning ladies at work.

Krede: Professional wrestler from Denmark. Do I need to write it again? Professional wrestler from DENMARK!?

Per.tv: Home of Per Vers, the incredible, lyrical and original.

Ane Marte: Miss Kensington, who now recides at Berkeley University in California. More on that campus in a coming update.

Opsang.dk: Who host my files and will eventually be the home of Jokke I’et, a nice young man.

Dennis Flux: Wrestling fanatic and younger brother of Orama, my one time partner in rhyme.

Rapspot.dk: Recently mentioned me in an update about blogging, generating mad traffic.

Startout.dk: Dol Gun makes sure the hip-hop, the simpsons and wrestling blog gets nuff mentions!

Benno.newsvine.com: Political aware blogger that mentioned our battle for evil corporation owner supremacy.

That be it. I thank the people behind the linking from the bottom of my heart. Or maybe even below the heart, in the subcockle area. Maybe from the liver, maybe the kidney. Maybe even from the colon, I don’t know. But thank you!

In other moves. I’ve gotten a myspace profile. That means you can check some rhyme and reason from yours truly on myspace.com/petepta. Make sure to add me as a friend on there, and everything will be freshfest like it was 86 again!

There’s a horse in the hospital: the return of Dr. Octagon

Here at the hiphop, the simpsons & wrestling blog we love us some Kool Keith. Maybe it deals with the fact that the creator of the blog – me – was born on Jupiter similar to Dr. Octagon. Well, actually not born really, rather grew up on Jupiter. And it wasn’t excactly on the planet it was on a street named Jupitervej, but still – you can see the connection.

Kool Keith has always been good for a gimmick or two, Fly Ricky The Winetaster definitely being the most underrated, but his most famous to date has been Dr. Octagon. He’s now resurfaced in new form. Even though he was killed on the Dr. Dooom album, he’s apparently returned from outer space and twisted the letters of his name into Mr. Nogatco – short for National Objectives for Governmental Astral-Terrestrial Covert Operations. Phew. Anyways you can peep the site and Keith doing his dang here. Rumours have it Mr. Hill from Oldominion will be producing on it. He’s not Dan The Automator, but he’s fresh in his own right.

Also, to celebrate this I’d like to share a little Kool Keith history with my fellow motherbloggers, so here for your viewing pleasure is the extended video version for Ultramagnetic MC’s Traveling at the Speed of Thought. And if that wasn’t enough here’s a soundbite from arguably the funniest freestyle session of all time with Kool Keith and Xzibit as captain crazy ruins freestyle after freestyle by making up different sandwiches!

Kamala: the Ugandan Spam Giant

In more crazy email news, I recently received a letter from Kamala. Kamala is possibly the closest thing wrestling has come to a utterly racist, minstrel angle. He’s this 350 lbs giant from Uganda, who debuted in the 80’s, at a time where Uganda was probably most known for its cannibal-dictator Idi Amin.

Thought up in the USWA by Jerry The King Lawler he’s based on every stereotype the King could find is National Geographic about the natives of Africa. He feuded with Hulk Hogan at houseshows in the late 90’s and returned to the WWF in the 90’s to take on a feud with the Undertaker. Kamala figured the pale mortician would make an excellent potroast, but sadly the Ugandan giant was deadly affraid of coffincases leading to his loss in the battle. It actually culminated at Wembley Stadium for the 92 Summer Slam a then 12-year-old Peter PTA was lucky enough to witness.

I dunno if that’s the reason Kamala sent me this e-mail about penis-enlargement, but I thank him anyway.

Wrestlers reveal their favorite rappers

You may have read certain wrestlers aren’t too fund of rappers. Mr. Perfect said flat out rap was crap before his untimely death and Diamond Dallas Page went ahead and sued Jay-Z for throwing up “the roc” years after DDP had originated the hand sign. So aren’t there any wrestlers that actually like rappers? No…stupid, but to correct that wrong, I took it upon myself to make up some that do. So remember to click the individual entries on the top ten as hilarious pics will unfold. Behold, here’s the top ten:

10: Andre The Giant likes Andre The Giant.

Fairly obvious, why wouldn’t the 7’4, 500 lbs + giant from the French Alpes enjoy some snot-nose from the Bronx ripping off his name. Especially since Andre the Giant from Show and AG is the size of three apples stacked onto eachother. But as he once cheekily remarked: “not a giant in height, on the strength I’m a giant in length.”

9: Stone Cold Steve Austin likes Beatnuts.

Why? Cause they’re stone crazy, that’s why!

8: Hacksaw Jim Duggan likes Busta Rhymes.

That’s right, America’s protector with his trusty 2×4 is a fan of Busta Rhymes. At least I imagine he would be after Busta rapped: “Busta Rhymes is like Hacksaw Jim Duggan” on Pharoahe Monch‘s Simon Says Remix. No explanation why he thought himself to be like the cockeyed one-move wrestler always sporting the red-white-and-blue, but after such a compliment, how could Jim Duggan not like Busta, tough guy? Hooooooooooo!

7: Kurt Angle likes Dilated Peoples.

Cause they work the Angles – sharp and precise! And that’s how the decorated olympian gets down to business as well, oh it’s true!

6: Barbarian likes Bo$$ Hogg Barbarians.

A fairly new alliance of rappers and wrestler, but a good one none the less. While the wrestling barbarian was more of the old school fur-covered, face paint sporting kind the Bo$$ Hogg Barbarians seem more into foul language and cars. But hey, at least J-Zone sported a fur a million times cheaper than Barbarians attire when he played at Loppen.

5: Kane likes Big Daddy Kane.

It’s a Big Daddy / Big Red Machine Thing. Undertaker’s long-lost (and/or burnt and killed) brother certainly knows if there are two things that aren’t easy it’s pimping and remembering to always keep your mask on. Oh well, seems he forgot the last part and became a midcarder. Wrath of Kane!

4: Legion of Doom like MF Doom.

The Road Warriors Hawk and Animal shouldn’t be able to recist everyone’s favorite underground rapper. Even from beyond the grave you can just hear Hawk screaming: “Dangerdoom? RRRRRWWWHaaat A RUSH!”

3: Tito Santana likes Juelz Santana.

Mexico’s favorite son, the prince of Tijuana, Tito Santana has to mark out for Juelz Santana. Afterall Juelz is a Diplomat and now that Tito’s career as a wrestler seems over he must do something to keep the green card intact. Arriba la Dip Set!

2: Who likes Redman.

Well, Jim Neidhart always was about as mental as the Funk Doctor, and to top it off, today’s Jim Neidhart’s birthday. Congrats Anvil!

1: Undertaker likes Gang Starr.

The next time Taker steps in the arena, he better recite the eulogy words I manifest or it’ll be a Full RIP for the dead man! Why? Cause there are so many spots – but they’re hard to urn.

Mr. Burns Vs. Hr. Møller: battle for evil corporation owner supremacy (updated!)

In the spirit of tonight’s Royal Rumble I decided the hip-hop, the simpsons and wrestling blog would play host to its very own showdown. Regular readers may recall I’ve already covered the similarities shared by Springfield’s Mr. Burns and Howard Hughes of The Aviator fame. However, it has come to my attention that Mr. Burns has much more in common with another business-man much closer to home, none other than our very own Mærsk Mc-Kinney Møller!

At first encounter, the former head of the Mærsk and AP Møller empire may seem as your average, although slightly upperclass, grampa. But make no mistake, when it comes to big business Mærsk Mc-Kinney Møller can get down and dirty with the worst of them. But to make sure there aren’t any questions as to who has the upper hand, I decided to let Mr. Burns and Hr. Møller duke it out in an eight round fight for the title evil corporation owner supremacy, let’s go!

Round one: Name and Age

Mr. Burns:
Full name: Charles Montgomery Burns
Age: 104

Hr. Møller:
Full name:
Arnold Mærsk Mc-Kinney Møller
Age: 92

Winner – Mr. Burns
Not only does his name ring more evil, he’s also beat Møller by nearly a decade of evil corporation owner doings.

Round two: Catchphrases

Mr. Burns:
“Excellent!”
“Release the hounds!”

Hr. Møller:
“Rettidig omhu” (Accurate display of timely precision)
“Hvor har vi det godt, og hvor har vi fortjent det!” (How blessed we are, and how we deserve it)

Winner – Mr. Burns
Once again our Springfield slugger is simply better at the bat than his Danish adversary. While Hr. Møller is able to combat “Excellent” with two just as self-absorbed catchpheases of his own, there’s nothing that says evil corporation owner as “Release the hounds!” does.

Round three: German affiliation

Mr. Burns:
Speaks fluent German and sold the Springfield Nuclear Powerplant to the Germans.

Hr. Møller:
The A.P. Møller company was one third owner of The Riffle Syndicate that sold arms to the Germans during World War II.

Winner – Hr. Møller
Finally the stretchy Scandinavian rolls into action. There’s simply no better way to make your company seem evil than supporting the losing team in a war, way to go!

Round four: Heir to the throne.

Mr. Burns:
Has illegitimate son Larry (voiced by Rodney Dangerfield), but doesn’t seem to want him as a successor. Once tried for Bart Simpson as would-be heir but again failed. Spends most of his time with a closet homosexual.

Hr. Møller:
Has three daughters, none of whom seemed interested in following in dad’s footsteps. Left Mærsk to be run by Smedegård Andersen, proving this might be the end of the family dynasty.

Winner – Tie
Clearly neither of our evil corporation owners have managed to provide an heir – they must not have been up on their duties, and at age 90+ it seems a little late.

Round five: Harassment of local community

Mr. Burns:
Once blocked out sunlight in Springfield in an attempt to cash in on rising electricity use.

Hr. Møller:
Tried to block website gangster-maersk on copyright infringement charges. Lost the case.

Winner – Mr. Burns
While both men surely do their share of underhanded business, Mr. Burns is just much more public with his intentions to harass.

Round six: Mythological connection

Mr. Burns:
May or may not be a vampire

Hr. Møller:
May or may not be a vampire

Winner – Tie

Round seven: Architectural landmarks

Mr. Burns:
Built The Monty Burns Casino, using his own money.

Hr. Møller:
Built the new Danish national opera, using his own money. Then wrote it off on his company’s taxes, overruled the renowned architect, and turned said opera building into the world’s largest toaster-oven.

Winner – Hr. Møller
Definately way more evil business corporation owner-like to use his love of grandscaled building as a tax-cut.

Round eight: Political ties

Mr. Burns:
Had Jimmy Carter and George Bush Sr. at his 90’s birthday. Is head of Springfield’s local Republican party.

Hr. Møller:
Sends threatening handwritten letters to the Danish prime minister whenever something rubs him the wrong way.

Winner – Hr. Møller
Another victory for the old Dane. Clearly it’s much more evil to not even be politically active and still have the entire political system dancing to the tune of your pied pipe.

So there we have it, Mr. Burns won on age, catchphrase and local harassment, while Hr. Møller won German affiliation, local harassment and architectural landmark. Heir to the throne and vampire rumours both ended in ties, bringing us to a grand total of 3-3 in the battle between Hr. Møller and Mr. Burns for evil corporation owner supremacy. Maybe we should have a rematch later on when either of the gentlemen displays his evilness yet again.

Until then, release the hounds!

*UPDATE*

Just when I thought it was all over, the tie can apparently be broken already:

Round nine – personal assistent

Mr. Burns:
Perfectionist closet homosexual, who follows his employer’s every wink.

Hr. Møller:
Perfectionist closet homosexual AND crossdresser, who follows his employer’s every wink.

Winner – Hr. Møller!!

Yes it took a final round for him to beat Springfield’s oldest son, but he did it. Hr. Møller is officially evil corporation owner supreme!

Jay-Z is Fraggle ROC?!

Who doesn’t know and love Gobo, Wembley and the other inhabitants down at Fraggle Rock, not to mention Sprocket, The Gorgs and…and…and, ah all those memories. Yet I had no idea there was a rappin’ Fraggle ’til Cam’ron of Dip Set was nice enough to point it out.

That’s right, all the Jiggaman talk about “The ROC” may actually have been about Fraggle Rock, as Killer Cam shares his discovery that Jay-Z resembles a Fraggle a great deal. He does this on the outro for the track “You Gotta Love It”, his first in a line of many future jabs at the Def Jam president. Apparently most of the beef stems from Cam taking Dame Dash’s side in the beef over Rocafella, but it could go all the way back to Jay-Z’s alledged stapping of Lance “Un” who was Cam’s boss at Untertainment at one point.

The song isn’t all that. There are a few fun lines about Jigga turning the big 4-0 a couple years back, (Freeway did it much better when he dissed Jaz-O with: “You’re like the bottle dropped in Menace (II Society) – fourty and broke.”) He also expands on the old-ass metaphor by making fun of Jay-Z wearing sandals in public. This woulda been way funnier had he fused with with Nas’ constant camel-disses to Jigga and called him “camel-toes.” Or maybe not.
While I love Cam and Dipset in generally (especially JR Writer!) I don’t see this beef going too many places. Jigga’s busy burning up guestappearences and being friends with Nas. Now if those two were to get at Cam, then we’d really be in business!

“Pussy so deep, a n!gga thought he found Fraggle Rock” – Ras Kass

Meanwhile in other hip-hop, the simpsons and wrestling related news, Diamond Dallas Page, former WCW champion and all round legendary wrestler is suing Jay-Z for using the ROC-diamond handsign. Diamond Dallas Page has used this sign in public for ages – see him doing it here (also refering to his finisher as the Diamond Cutter). I really don’t see how Jigga can win this battle. Though it is slightly ironic that a rapper would get suid for waving gangsigns!?

“Doing all sorts of twisted shit with they fingers” – Jay-Z

Storm P ressurects himself as urban rap-star

Now granted, hiphop has seen its Hurricane G, DJ Typhoon, hell even Kurtis Blow sounds kinda windy…but that the late Storm P. would come back as a rapper wasn’t really in the cards, was it?

For those unfamiliar with the moniker “Storm P.” it was the calling name of Robert Storm Petersen (1882-1948). The Danish satirist, inventor, actor etc. was known primarily for his work as the creator of daily comic-strips in newspapers and such. He was particular good at depicting the gabs between society classes and older readers of this blog (yeah, right!) may remember his Peter og Ping comic about a man and his pinguin. Even in the new milenium, his name is synonymous with drawings of crazy, complicated Wiley Coyote-styled abstract inventions. You can read more about him at the Storm P. Museum.

So what’s new? Well, this has actually been brewing slowly. First I see the name “Storm P” on a DJ Clue mixtape. Then I see the name again in a Source magazine ad for some Flavor Unit release and it’s starting to get creepy. Now I visit my local Blockbuster videooutlet and there the #¤%”#” is again, this time co-staring in a Queen Latifah flick, what the fluck!

With a little help from Google, it turns out Storm P is synonymous with Quran Pender. The rapper-slash-actor got his start with Queen La’s Flavor Unit (a New Jersey based hiphop company predating 50’s G-Unit with about 15 years). He was a part of their younger posse, geniusly titled “The Unit” and released an album with them. He also worked on music for the movie “Chicago”, and now he’s all up in “The Cookout” playing an NBA-cat at a picnic gone horribly wrong.

Apparently the movie went horribly wrong as well (read review here). But I, for one, am rooting for young Storm P. to do his thing until he reaches a status where he gets the attention of the Danish media. That way they can steal this mistaken identity story from me, much like they did the one about the Royal monogram and Funk Flex’s logo.

Mutha made ’em, mutha blog ’em!

Bumrush The Show – How to get on open mics 101

Originally this blog was intended mainly as an outlet for me to brag about my undertakings. Along the way I somehow forgot to go for the gusto, so this is the first in a line of posts about accomplishments in various fields I’ve reached over the years. The first entry is about my sharing microphones with famous rap-stars.

As you readers may or may not know, I’ve been rapping for a number of years here in Denmark, and freestyling for almost as many. Yet it wasn’t until I moved to Copenhagen, I found out how easy it is to get on stage during rapshows. You don’t need to put out an album, you don’t need promotion, god donut, you don’t even need to be booked. All you have to do is wave your hand and slamdance your ass to the stage as soon as the rapper shouts “Any MC’s in the house?!” I used to think it was kinda lame to represent, but now I actually feel it’s obligatory to step up if you can. It can really be quite a fresh touch on the show, I particularly remember Nappion from Aarhus rhyming with Mad Skillz, this Icelandic rapper really impressing at a Common Sense show, and recently this kid in front row doing a perfect Wu-verse with Method Man. Also, I can’t forget my girlfriend Mismarie serving competition at a memorable Bahamadia show. But hey, this was supposed to be about me! So here’s a list of rappers whose show I’ve bumrushed.

Tha Alkaholiks: My first attempt to get on stage and it sucked. By the time I got up there, it turned out it was a drinking contest and some chick had taken my place.

Erick Sermon: This was actually the most fun. 2 years ago Erick Sermon was booked for a show with legendary underground heroes Ultramagnetic MC’s and one hit wonders Fanny Pack. Naturally only Erick and the P (as in Pack, not Parrish) show up. So Erick does his show and it’s pretty good, especially “React”, “Music” and whatever EPMD material he did, but then he asks if there are any rappers in the house. The first dude on stage is actually Bukki from the legendary Danish funk-rap band U.R.D. Somehow Erick rejects this guy (woulda been great hearing him again) and instead chooses me. Little does he know, it’s my birthday, and yes I’ve been drinking Bacardi like it’s my…forget it. Anyways I do 8 bars where I manage to insult Sermon and rhyme: “I represent for the culture, everybody knows we only showed up to hear Ultra”. after that Erick quickly snatched the mic away and looked at me angrily with his slightly lazy green eyes.

Tim Dog: Happened at Rust I think this summer. Tim Dog’s show was hot, everybody sang along with “Fuck Compton” like they had wrote the shit, and when he asked for MC’s ain’t too many dared ‘step to him’ (if you know what I mean). So I get up and do a quick freestyle, and since it’s for Tim Dog I rap a little about his history and all. While you may think Tim Dog is this angry unfuckwithable character it turned out he was really humble and gave me applaus and shouted: “That was nice. My man came off the dome!” He also signed autographs as you may have read so that whole night was smooth. There’s a review of it here.

Funkdoobiest: This was during their show in Vega. Apparently Tomahawk Funk hasn’t been part of the show for ages, so it was down to Sun Doobie and DJ Ralph The Funky Mexican. Sun Doobie was great, he was real skinny but would do Hulk Hogan poses flexing his non-existing muscles between songs, and Ralph The Funky Mexican blended electro with DJ Ugerløse-type powerscratch at all chances. Fresh! Sad thing was they only had like a half hour show, so their hypeman tried to get people from the crowd to rhyme – and he got me. At that point Sun Doobie had left the stage, but I did manage to talk about Ralph’s haircut and other stuff…
A lot of other stuff as a matter of fact. I was drunk off of Hennessey at the time, and I think I kept going way past the intended timeslot. Still fun to have been rhyming with the Soul Assassins…Almost. Read review here.

Last Emperor: He actually invited me on stage. He didn’t have a DJ with him and he needed someone to pause and fast-forward his CD for the show. So while I didn’t get to rhyme with Emp, he rhymed about me, something to the effect of: “I got my man on the beat, and his name is Pete”. Yeah Emp! While that was great in itself we also played a mean game of table fussball making it a truly memorable experience.

So that’s the list of mics shared with greatness, and if you wanna follow suit it’s real easy:

First of all you have to be fairly close to the stage around 35 minutes into the show, ‘cause they’ll do the mic either then or after the encore.

Second, have a rhyme prepared if you don’t want to freestyle.

And third, make sure you’re drunk enough to not freeze up, but sober enough to remember a line or two.