Kategoriarkiv: story-telling

Damerne sidst: Kvindekampen dominerede til årets WrestleMania

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WrestleMania har gennem årene været domineret af mænd. Søndag aften kæmpede kvinderne sig for første gang til toppen af verdens største wrestling-begivenhed.

I gamle dage var det mest galante, manden kunne ytre et “Damerne først”, når han holdt døren. Sådan var det også i wrestling, den ypperlige blanding af sport og underholdning, hvor atletiske evner og aftalt spil går op i en højere enhed. Kvinderne kunne til nøds optræde i åbningskampen på linje med dværge og mexicanere, mens den afsluttende kamp, aftenens main event, var reserveret til mændenes mesterskab.

Det ændrede sig til årets WrestleMania, det 35. af slagsens, hvor kvinderne ikke lod sig nøjes med at stå i døråbningen, men sparkede den ind og kæmpede sig vej til den vigtigste kamp – aftenens sidste. Læs videre Damerne sidst: Kvindekampen dominerede til årets WrestleMania

Dubstep-dans dig helt til EM med KIA Dubstep Contest Euro 2012

Så er der kun 3 små uger til EM (duh, duh, duh) begynder i Polen og Ukraine, og du har mulighed for at komme med, hvis du kan danse fedest til Europas hotteste eksportvare siden fodbold; nemlig dubstep.

Da jeg en helt lille PTA kunne man vinde en tur til EM i Fodbold i England i '88 med "EM-Toget" i Anders And-bladet. Jeg vandt ikke, og Danmark vandt heller, faktisk er jeg i tvivl om vi overhovedet scorede nogen mål dengang. Forhåbentlig går det bedre denne gang, og for det ikke skal være løgn har vi her næsten 25 år efter igen muligheden for at vinde. Kia har nemlig lavet en konkurrence, hvor du – hvis du laver den vildeste, sjoveste dans – kan vinde en fed tur til EM.

Nummeret du skal danse til er "I Can't Stop" med DJ Flux Pavilion, og de 8 der gør det bedst i konkurrencen vinder en tur –  med ledsager – til EM's åbningskamp i Warszava, inklusiv fly, hotel og selvfølgelig billet til kampen. Den der vinder hovedpræmien kan endda køre derfra i en splinterny Kia Picanto. 

Nu har jeg heldigvis et forspring i og med jeg har erfaring med sejrsdans. Som nogle vil huske eksploderede mig og voksen Simon i en perlerække af dancemoves da vi slog svensken. Denne gang er det en mere bunden opgave, men der er masser af hjælp at hente i selve konkurrencebeskrivelsen. Nedenfor har du mulighed for at tjekke mit nummer, stemme på det, grine af det, og bruge det som inspirationskilde til dit eget bidrag…

Du tilmelder dig her https://apps.facebook.com/kia-dubstep-contest/index.php?redir=Y eller ved at klikke på Enter the competition now! eller
Kia Dubstep Competition. Du skal være over 18, og der må være så mange dansere som du har lyst til i videoen, men der er stadig max to der bliver sendt til Polen.

Så slip din indre techno viking løs og må den bedste dubstepper vinde!

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To be the man – you gotta beat the man

Battling is alotta things but first and foremost it’s a surefire way to avoid writing new material, thus keeping your song production at an absolute minimum. It can however, bring you to crazy ass places and get you in situations where you have to sober up within an eyeblink and get your arsenal of lyrics ready to square off against some famous jamous hotshot, who everybody knows and likes more than you. Here are some of the famous people I’ve battled:

Eyedea:

The setting was the first Aarhus Took It ever in 2000, after Eyedea and Slug had guested Frez Force‘s show. For the unaware Eyedea is this youngbuck from St. Paul Minnesota who’s down with Rhyme Sayers and at the time was a big part of Slug and Atmosphere‘s live show. In 2000 he had also won The Scribble Jam, The local Blaze Battle and was on his way to winning the national Blaze battle.

So, I talk a short while to Slug who’s this lanky rapper that stares at you with his dead eyes when speaking (I’m surprised he’s not a scientologist). I then ask if Eyedea has battled anyone in Europe, and Slug replies no, so being the cocky teen that I almost was I ask why can’t I battle him on stage the next day. Slug’s smart idea however is to have me battle Eyedea right then and there, leading to me standing in front of this youngster grinning with a gab between his teeth the size of Dave Letterman’s and an aura around him that he’s unbeatable.

After I’ve said about a minute and a half of rhymes it only takes him 8 bars to take me down and the rest of his verse is pretty much just a victory showcase. T’was a good learning experience, that paired with losing to Per Vers around the same time reminded me that you need to change mindset when you battle someone much more confident than you, which came in handy over the years.

And yes that’s us in the picture. Back then I bleached my hair and everything. Man, what was I on?

Chords:

This battle is kinda funny, ’cause in a lot of ways it was totally unfair. Chords is this Swedish rapper whose rep at the time wasn’t that big, but now he’s down with Timbuktu and Jujurecords and everybody rightfully considers him the man.

He entered the 2001 MC’s Fight Night, as did I and we drew each other in the first round. However he rapped in English in front of a Danish audience and I rapped in Danish so it was really easy to clown him. At the time it was a pretty big win for me, but it did start a trend for a certain MC’s Fight Night judge. He’s since, as he did in that battle, voted against me every time he had the chance. You can check the battle for yourself here. You can check the battle for yourself.

FEMone:

FEMone is a rapper from Norway with a Chilenian background. He belongs to a crew called Equicez (it means x’s in Spanish), and whenever someone asked him about certain rappers he would reply “fuck ’em” hence his name F’EM. I entered this freestyle contest in Oslo called Straight Spittin cause Definite, a friend of mine, who’d end up winning the Norwegian-rhyming part was also entering. It turned kinda ugly during the battle as we both lost our temper a bit, and I ended up losing after a bonus round. But in the end I think it was an entertaining battle, where I got to showcase I’m a lot better at freestyling in English than Danish.

I returned for the Norwegian Rock The Spot freestyle contest a couple years later and won that with FEMone as a judge so I don’t think he carries grudges. You can see pics from the battle here, and the events actually ended up in a chapter of Hip Hop Hoder about Norwegian hip-hop which can be read here.

Those are the people I can think of off the dome, that made most of a name for themselves. Holla back tho if you want more warstories from the battlefields, cause I’ve cunningly saved a few tales. I’m glad I got to face off against some of the people that I like to call friends such as Strøm, Jøden, C-Style and Per Vers over the years, but as I’ll be a judge as this years Fight Night I’m winding down my battle-career these days.

Mr. Burns Vs. Hr. Møller: battle for evil corporation owner supremacy (updated!)

In the spirit of tonight’s Royal Rumble I decided the hip-hop, the simpsons and wrestling blog would play host to its very own showdown. Regular readers may recall I’ve already covered the similarities shared by Springfield’s Mr. Burns and Howard Hughes of The Aviator fame. However, it has come to my attention that Mr. Burns has much more in common with another business-man much closer to home, none other than our very own Mærsk Mc-Kinney Møller!

At first encounter, the former head of the Mærsk and AP Møller empire may seem as your average, although slightly upperclass, grampa. But make no mistake, when it comes to big business Mærsk Mc-Kinney Møller can get down and dirty with the worst of them. But to make sure there aren’t any questions as to who has the upper hand, I decided to let Mr. Burns and Hr. Møller duke it out in an eight round fight for the title evil corporation owner supremacy, let’s go!

Round one: Name and Age

Mr. Burns:
Full name: Charles Montgomery Burns
Age: 104

Hr. Møller:
Full name:
Arnold Mærsk Mc-Kinney Møller
Age: 92

Winner – Mr. Burns
Not only does his name ring more evil, he’s also beat Møller by nearly a decade of evil corporation owner doings.

Round two: Catchphrases

Mr. Burns:
“Excellent!”
“Release the hounds!”

Hr. Møller:
“Rettidig omhu” (Accurate display of timely precision)
“Hvor har vi det godt, og hvor har vi fortjent det!” (How blessed we are, and how we deserve it)

Winner – Mr. Burns
Once again our Springfield slugger is simply better at the bat than his Danish adversary. While Hr. Møller is able to combat “Excellent” with two just as self-absorbed catchpheases of his own, there’s nothing that says evil corporation owner as “Release the hounds!” does.

Round three: German affiliation

Mr. Burns:
Speaks fluent German and sold the Springfield Nuclear Powerplant to the Germans.

Hr. Møller:
The A.P. Møller company was one third owner of The Riffle Syndicate that sold arms to the Germans during World War II.

Winner – Hr. Møller
Finally the stretchy Scandinavian rolls into action. There’s simply no better way to make your company seem evil than supporting the losing team in a war, way to go!

Round four: Heir to the throne.

Mr. Burns:
Has illegitimate son Larry (voiced by Rodney Dangerfield), but doesn’t seem to want him as a successor. Once tried for Bart Simpson as would-be heir but again failed. Spends most of his time with a closet homosexual.

Hr. Møller:
Has three daughters, none of whom seemed interested in following in dad’s footsteps. Left Mærsk to be run by Smedegård Andersen, proving this might be the end of the family dynasty.

Winner – Tie
Clearly neither of our evil corporation owners have managed to provide an heir – they must not have been up on their duties, and at age 90+ it seems a little late.

Round five: Harassment of local community

Mr. Burns:
Once blocked out sunlight in Springfield in an attempt to cash in on rising electricity use.

Hr. Møller:
Tried to block website gangster-maersk on copyright infringement charges. Lost the case.

Winner – Mr. Burns
While both men surely do their share of underhanded business, Mr. Burns is just much more public with his intentions to harass.

Round six: Mythological connection

Mr. Burns:
May or may not be a vampire

Hr. Møller:
May or may not be a vampire

Winner – Tie

Round seven: Architectural landmarks

Mr. Burns:
Built The Monty Burns Casino, using his own money.

Hr. Møller:
Built the new Danish national opera, using his own money. Then wrote it off on his company’s taxes, overruled the renowned architect, and turned said opera building into the world’s largest toaster-oven.

Winner – Hr. Møller
Definately way more evil business corporation owner-like to use his love of grandscaled building as a tax-cut.

Round eight: Political ties

Mr. Burns:
Had Jimmy Carter and George Bush Sr. at his 90’s birthday. Is head of Springfield’s local Republican party.

Hr. Møller:
Sends threatening handwritten letters to the Danish prime minister whenever something rubs him the wrong way.

Winner – Hr. Møller
Another victory for the old Dane. Clearly it’s much more evil to not even be politically active and still have the entire political system dancing to the tune of your pied pipe.

So there we have it, Mr. Burns won on age, catchphrase and local harassment, while Hr. Møller won German affiliation, local harassment and architectural landmark. Heir to the throne and vampire rumours both ended in ties, bringing us to a grand total of 3-3 in the battle between Hr. Møller and Mr. Burns for evil corporation owner supremacy. Maybe we should have a rematch later on when either of the gentlemen displays his evilness yet again.

Until then, release the hounds!

*UPDATE*

Just when I thought it was all over, the tie can apparently be broken already:

Round nine – personal assistent

Mr. Burns:
Perfectionist closet homosexual, who follows his employer’s every wink.

Hr. Møller:
Perfectionist closet homosexual AND crossdresser, who follows his employer’s every wink.

Winner – Hr. Møller!!

Yes it took a final round for him to beat Springfield’s oldest son, but he did it. Hr. Møller is officially evil corporation owner supreme!

Bumrush The Show – How to get on open mics 101

Originally this blog was intended mainly as an outlet for me to brag about my undertakings. Along the way I somehow forgot to go for the gusto, so this is the first in a line of posts about accomplishments in various fields I’ve reached over the years. The first entry is about my sharing microphones with famous rap-stars.

As you readers may or may not know, I’ve been rapping for a number of years here in Denmark, and freestyling for almost as many. Yet it wasn’t until I moved to Copenhagen, I found out how easy it is to get on stage during rapshows. You don’t need to put out an album, you don’t need promotion, god donut, you don’t even need to be booked. All you have to do is wave your hand and slamdance your ass to the stage as soon as the rapper shouts “Any MC’s in the house?!” I used to think it was kinda lame to represent, but now I actually feel it’s obligatory to step up if you can. It can really be quite a fresh touch on the show, I particularly remember Nappion from Aarhus rhyming with Mad Skillz, this Icelandic rapper really impressing at a Common Sense show, and recently this kid in front row doing a perfect Wu-verse with Method Man. Also, I can’t forget my girlfriend Mismarie serving competition at a memorable Bahamadia show. But hey, this was supposed to be about me! So here’s a list of rappers whose show I’ve bumrushed.

Tha Alkaholiks: My first attempt to get on stage and it sucked. By the time I got up there, it turned out it was a drinking contest and some chick had taken my place.

Erick Sermon: This was actually the most fun. 2 years ago Erick Sermon was booked for a show with legendary underground heroes Ultramagnetic MC’s and one hit wonders Fanny Pack. Naturally only Erick and the P (as in Pack, not Parrish) show up. So Erick does his show and it’s pretty good, especially “React”, “Music” and whatever EPMD material he did, but then he asks if there are any rappers in the house. The first dude on stage is actually Bukki from the legendary Danish funk-rap band U.R.D. Somehow Erick rejects this guy (woulda been great hearing him again) and instead chooses me. Little does he know, it’s my birthday, and yes I’ve been drinking Bacardi like it’s my…forget it. Anyways I do 8 bars where I manage to insult Sermon and rhyme: “I represent for the culture, everybody knows we only showed up to hear Ultra”. after that Erick quickly snatched the mic away and looked at me angrily with his slightly lazy green eyes.

Tim Dog: Happened at Rust I think this summer. Tim Dog’s show was hot, everybody sang along with “Fuck Compton” like they had wrote the shit, and when he asked for MC’s ain’t too many dared ‘step to him’ (if you know what I mean). So I get up and do a quick freestyle, and since it’s for Tim Dog I rap a little about his history and all. While you may think Tim Dog is this angry unfuckwithable character it turned out he was really humble and gave me applaus and shouted: “That was nice. My man came off the dome!” He also signed autographs as you may have read so that whole night was smooth. There’s a review of it here.

Funkdoobiest: This was during their show in Vega. Apparently Tomahawk Funk hasn’t been part of the show for ages, so it was down to Sun Doobie and DJ Ralph The Funky Mexican. Sun Doobie was great, he was real skinny but would do Hulk Hogan poses flexing his non-existing muscles between songs, and Ralph The Funky Mexican blended electro with DJ Ugerløse-type powerscratch at all chances. Fresh! Sad thing was they only had like a half hour show, so their hypeman tried to get people from the crowd to rhyme – and he got me. At that point Sun Doobie had left the stage, but I did manage to talk about Ralph’s haircut and other stuff…
A lot of other stuff as a matter of fact. I was drunk off of Hennessey at the time, and I think I kept going way past the intended timeslot. Still fun to have been rhyming with the Soul Assassins…Almost. Read review here.

Last Emperor: He actually invited me on stage. He didn’t have a DJ with him and he needed someone to pause and fast-forward his CD for the show. So while I didn’t get to rhyme with Emp, he rhymed about me, something to the effect of: “I got my man on the beat, and his name is Pete”. Yeah Emp! While that was great in itself we also played a mean game of table fussball making it a truly memorable experience.

So that’s the list of mics shared with greatness, and if you wanna follow suit it’s real easy:

First of all you have to be fairly close to the stage around 35 minutes into the show, ‘cause they’ll do the mic either then or after the encore.

Second, have a rhyme prepared if you don’t want to freestyle.

And third, make sure you’re drunk enough to not freeze up, but sober enough to remember a line or two.

This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph…

I’ve been collecting autographs ever since famed Danish poet and writer of childrens books Benny Andersen signed my copy of Snøvsen back in 4th grade.

When I got into hip-hop I quickly realised that artists would stay after shows and sign autographs. I also noticed that if you had brought the artist’s album along (or even better bought it from his merchandice stand at the venue) the chance of getting the John Hancock heightened. For instance when I brought a 12 inch to an Arsonists show it was the first time they had seen the final print of that record so it got heavily signed. I think autographs on records are cool ’cause they tie the music together with meeting the actual artist.

Run and Jam Master Jay autographing my copy of their debut album at Rock Show in Aarhus was a pretty sweet deal. Run and DMC would mostly sign T-shirts, but Jay was walking around the crowd and seemed genuinly happy to see that old vinyl. Common Sense was another early autograph, and he added “just another case of PTA” which was a freshfest for me. On a rap-level Masta Ace writing “Death To The Wack MC’s” on Slaughta House is a top autograph too. Thes One of People Under The Stairs damn near wrote an entire essay on the back of their 12 after I pointed a misspelled word out, Double K just wrote “I’m Faded”.

A lot of the records I’ve had signed were due to me working as a helper at the Aarhus Took It hip-hop festival. Usually this involves picking the artist up at the airport and checking them into the hotel, making sure they can get to the venue and then later bringing pizzas for the festival crew. Foreign Legion were unknown to me when they arrived but they were real friendly and put on a hell of a show. Same deal with brittish Killa Kela and DJ Plus One. J-Live was a favorite rapper of mine, but he was mad stuck-up and his show wasn’t that good. JuJu of Beatnuts was a pretty cool guy but he stole a buncha records from my fave. store – so screw him. MOP, Pharoahe Monch and Big Daddy Kane are some other rappers to perform @ Took It. The nicest of the bunch was Last Emperor who not only signed my records but also helped me beat Jøden and J-Hef at table-fussball and invited me on stage.

A few of my autographs are from Copenhagen shows, for instance Souls of Mischief and Smut Peddlers @ Loppen, Christiania. I actually introduced Smut Peddlers and the rest of Eastern Conference ’cause DJ Noize had failed to show. Generally I never get autographs at shows @ Vega ’cause you’re not allowed to bring a recordbag into the venue, but I did manage to get Pete Rock‘s autograph. He musta been in a hurry cause all he wrote was PR!!!!

I’ve also gotten records signed during interviews like this Rise 12 inch and Dizzee Rascal‘s first album. Usually I don’t ask for autographs while interviewing but sometimes it just seems cool to do.

Autographs vary greatly in quality. For instance I was set to interview KRS-One, but someone else took up the time I guess cause I all I got was this crappy autograph that looks nothing his cool tag. Busy Bee was also on hand at that non-happening interview. Guru on the other hand has a fine autograph style and even wrote Gangstarr 4 Eva on the album – we’ll see how that turns out. Redman not only signed Whut Thee Album but also drew an extra mustache on his own image.

Some write more than others. Kut Masta Kurt and Motion Man not only signed my album but also a miniposter when I had brought to Billund Airport after their Took It show. Kurt’s note read: “Peter you’re a good driver but you need a new Run-DMC shirt”.

More recently I’ve gotten autographs from Tim Dog as well as Bootie Brown and Imani of Pharcyde @ Rust. Rust is really turning out to be a cool spot for autographs cause the artists usually stay for nightclubbing.

I almost never ask for or get autographs from Danish artists which is a shame, ’cause their music is just as memorable. Gísli wrote this cheeky comment on the innersleeve at his release party.

Some of the first autographs I got were unfortunately lost (or stolen!) so my Kool Keith/Dr. Octagon autograph from his show at Aarhus’ Ridehus circa. 97 is still MIA. Others like ?uestlove from Roots refused to sign autographs and instead opted to talk to the fans for a while, so he’s still cool in my book. There are only a few artists I’ve seen live I regret not getting autographs from, mainly Kool Herc, Jay-Z and Nas. Slug from Atmosphere as well as Eyedea who I was lucky enough to freestyle with would have also been great.

I’ll probably keep collecting autographs as long as I go to shows, but since I hardly ever buy new music these days. Tankpasser from Odense came up with the idea of having producers sign breaks they’ve sampled. I kinda like that. Maybe I’ll have to switch to a plain old autograph-book.